Proud to be Canadian

Proud to be Canadian

This is not to offend anyone,

but if you are offended redirect your
mails to
who_give_a_rats_ass@screwyou.com

Although July 1st is past,

these are things we still can feel proud about

and of being Canadians…..

#####################

EAT YOUR HEART OUT WORLD…….

SO, WHAT DO CANADIANS HAVE TO BE PROUD OF?

1. Smarties

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp

3. The size of our footballs fields and one less down

4. Baseball is Canadian

5. Lacrosse is Canadian

6. Hockey is Canadian

7. Basketball is Canadian

8. Apple pie is Canadian

9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass

10. Tim Hortons kicks Krispy Kreme’s ass  mmmmmmmm. Coffee.

11. In the war of 1812, started by America,

Canadians pushed the

Americans
back…past their ‘White House’.

Then we burned it…and most of
Washington,
under the command of William Lyon MaKenzie King

who was insane and hammered all the time.

We got bored because they ran away,

so we came home and partied…Go figure..

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to

Germany. Though they would have given the chance!

13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered

or
withdrew during any war to anyone. anywhere. EVER.

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and it lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary,

who slept in and missed the whole thing… but showed up just
in time to get caught. Dumbass!

16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth’s surface

and  is still around as the worlds oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human

in  under 3 minutes.  Good to know.

19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.I don’t

personally, but some do.

20. We don’t marry our kin-folk.

21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin,

zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless

lives each year.

22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to

tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman.

24. We have coloured money.

26. Our beer advertisments kick ass – BUT MOST IMPORTANT!…….

27. The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands

with mitts on. OOOoohhhhh Canada!!

28. Our light beer is stronger than regular American beer.

29. And we don’t bomb our allies.We just get bombed.

Oh yeah… and our elections only take one day.Because we can count.

Pass this on if you are proud to be Canadian!!!

I AM CANADIAN!!!

oh canada
Sun, 07 Aug 2005

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