Knowledge

Knowledge;

“There are two modes of knowledge,

through argument and experience.

Argument brings conclusions and compels us to concede them,

but it does not cause certainty nor remove doubts in order

that the mind may remain at rest in truth, unless this is provided by experience.”

Roger Bacon in Opius Maius (1268)

Imagine by John Lennon

Imagine

Imagine there’s no heaven,

It’s easy if you try,

No hell below us,

Above us only sky,

Imagine all the people,

living for today…Imagine there’s no countries,

It isn’t hard to do,

Nothing to kill or die for,

No religion too,

Imagine all the people,

living life in peace…Imagine no possesions,

I wonder if you can,

No need for greed or hunger,

A brotherhood of man,

Imagine all the people,

Sharing all the world…You may say I’m a dreamer,

but I’m not the only one,

I hope some day you’ll join us,

And the world will live as one.

John Lennon, Imagine

Home Honeymoon

Home Honeymoon

Fred and Mary get married but can’t afford a honeymoon,

so they go back to mom and dads for the night.

In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school,

he asks his mum if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, “No”.

Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think? ”

His mom replies, “Never mind what you think! Just go to school.”

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom,

“Is Fred and Mary up yet?”

She replies, “No.”

Johnny says, “Do you know what I think?”

His mom replies,

“Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school.”

After school, he comes home and asks,

“Is Fred and Mary up yet?”

His mom says, “No.”

Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?”

His mom replies, “OK  What do you think?”

He says,

“Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue.”

GRANDMA’S BOYFRIEND

GRANDMA’S BOYFRIEND

A 5-year-old boy went to  visit his grandmother one day.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting,

he looked up and said,

“Grandma, how come you don’t have a
boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?”

Grandma replied,  “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.

I can sit in  my
bedroom and watch it all day long.

The  religious programs make me
feel good and the comedies make me laugh.

I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.”

Grandma turned on the TV, and  the reception was terrible.

She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.

Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV  hoping to fix the problem.

The  little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door,
and there stood Grandma’s  minister.

The minister said,  “Hello, son, is your Grandma home?”
The little boy replied,

“Yeah, she’s in the bedroom  bangin’ her boyfriend.”

The  minister fainted.

Gold Fish Burial

Gold Fish Burial

Little Donna was in thd back yard filling in a hole when

her neighbour peered over the fence.

Interested in what the rosy-faced youngster was doing, he asked,

“What are you doing there, Donna?”

“My goldfish died,” replied little Donna tearfully without looking up,

“and I’ve just buried him.”

The neighbor laughed and said condescendingly,

“That’s a really big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”

Little Donna patted down the last heap of earth then replied,

“That’s because he’s inside your fucking cat.”

God Asked

God Asked

1…God won’t ask what kind of car you drove;

He’ll ask how many people you drove who didn’t have transportation.

2…God won’t ask the square footage of your house,

He’ll ask how many people you welcomed into your home.

3…God won’t ask about the clothes you had in your closet,

He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe.

4…God won’t ask what your highest salary was,

He’ll ask if you compromised your character to obtain it.

5…God won’t ask what your job title was,

He’ll ask if you performed your job to the best of your ability.

6…God won’t ask how many friends you had,

He’ll ask how many people to whom you were a friend.

7… God won’t ask in what neighborhood you lived,

He’ll ask how you treated your neighbors.

8…God won’t ask about the color of your skin,

He’ll ask about the content of your character.

9… God won’t ask why it took you so long to seek Salvation,

He’ll lovingly take you to your mansion in heaven, and not to the gates of Hell.

10…God won’t ask how many people you forwarded this to,

He’ll ask if you were ashamed to pass it on to your friends.

Freaky: Here is a good one for you “quantum” guys

Freaky:

Here is a good one for you “quantum” guys……..

1) New York City has 11 letters

2) Afghanistan has 11 letters.

3) Ramsin Yuseb (The terrorist who threatened to destroy the Twin Towers in 1993) has 11 letters.

4) George W Bush has 11 letters.

This could be a mere coincidence, but this gets more interesting:

1) New York is the 11th state.

2) The first plane crashing against the Twin

Towers was flight number 11.

3) Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers. 9 + 2 = 11

4) Flight 77 which also hit Twin Towers, was carrying 65 passengers. 6+5 =11

5) The tragedy was on September 11, or 9/11 as it is now known. 9 + 1+ 1 =11

6) The date is equal to the US emergency services telephone number 911. 9 + 1 + 1 =11

Sheer coincidence..?! Read on and make up your own mind:

1) The total number of victims inside all the hi-jacked planes was 254. 2 + 5 +

4 =11

2) September 11 is day number 254 of the calendar year. Again 2 + 5 + 4 =11

3) The Madrid bombing took place on 3/01/2004. 3 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 4 =11

4) The tragedy of Madrid happened 911 days after the Twin Towers incident.

Now this is where things get totally eerie:

The most recognized symbol for the US, after the Stars & Stripes, is the Eagle.

The following verse is taken from the Quran, the Islamic holy book:

“For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle.

The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced:

For the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah and there was peace.”

That verse is number 9.11 of the Quran.

Still unconvinced about all of this..?! Try this and see how you feel afterwards, it made my hair stand on end:

Open Microsoft Word and do the following:

1. Type in capitals Q33 NY. This is the flight number of the first plane

to hit one of the Twin Towers.

2. Highlight the Q33 NY.

3. Change the font size to 48.

4. Chanfe the actual font to the WINGDINGS

What do you think now?!!

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE

TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,

“Please come over here and help me. I have got a killer jigsaw puzzle,

and I can’t figure out how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asks,

“What is it supposed to be when it’s finished ?”

The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box it’s a tiger.”

He decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in, and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all

over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the

box, then turns to her and says,

“First of all, no matter what we

do, we’re not going to be able to assemble all of these pieces into

anything resembling a tiger.”

He takes her hand and says,

“Second, I want you to relax.” Let’s have a nice cup of tea, and

then …..” He sighed…

“Let’s put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box

in the box …..”

TO MY DEAR WIFE

TO MY DEAR WIFE:
During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times.

I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days.
The following is a list of why I did not succeed more
often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be sleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

9 times you said weren’t in the mood

7 times you were sunburned

6 times you were watching the late show

5 times you didn’t want to mess up your new hairdo

3 times you said the neighbors would hear us

9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory
because:
6 times you just laid there

8 times you reminded me there’s a crack in the ceiling

4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with

7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move
KEEP READING…….

==========================================================
TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:
I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn’t
get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn’t cum

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls

4 times you got it stuck in your zipper

3 times you had a cold and your nose was running

2 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the notion after thinking about it all day

6 times you came in your pajamas while reading a dirty book

98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn’t talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was,

“Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?”

The time you felt me move was because you farted and I was trying to breathe.

Once you read this letter you have to keep it going.

This game has been played since 1996.

You must send this letter to 7 people.

On the 5th day someone will ask you out or say, “I love you.”

This is not a joke.

It has worked for many years.

If you break the chain,

you will have bad luck with guys/girls forever.

This is just for future readers.

This began in 1996,not much of a past, but it works.

So here are the rules:

If you read this on a Sunday,wish for a good week

If you read this on a Monday,wish for money

If you read this on a Tuesday, wish for love

If you read this on a Wednesday, wish for success

If you read this on a Thursday, wish for anything you want

If you read this on a Friday, wish for a really hot date

If you read this on a Saturday, wish for an important phone call

Send this to seven people (after you make a wish).

Make sure it is sent as soon as you read it or your wish
won’t come  true.
And check!

Dark In Here

Dark In Here

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.

Her 9-year old son, Johnny, comes home unexpectedly,

sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.

The woman’s husband also comes home.

She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that Johnny is in there  already.

Johnny says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes, it is.”

Johnny – “I have a baseball.”

Man – “That’s nice.”

Johnny – “Want to buy it?”

Man – “No, thanks.”

Johnny – “My dad’s outside.”

Man – “OK, how much?”

Johnny – “$150”

Man – “Sold.”

In the next few weeks,

it happens again that Johnny and the lover are in the closet together.

Johnny – “Dark in here.”

Man – “Yes, it is.”

Johnny – “I have a Wilson fielders glove.”

The lover, remembering the last time, asks Johnny, “How much?”

Johnny – “$350”

Man – “Highway robbery. Sold.”

A few days later, the father says to Johnny, “Grab your gloves,
let’s go outside and have a game of catch.

Johnny says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and my gloves.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

Johnny -“$500”

The father says,

“That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost.

I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.”

They go to the church and the father makes Johnny sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

Johnny says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again, you’re in my closet now”

STOP The Banksters New World Order

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